The reason why I couldn’t get out of the Netflix-marathon-esque rabbit hole of destructive patterns and choices? Tunnel vision focus on external validation. I briefly saw my reflection in the black screen between episodes, but I sat frozen and just let it continue.
The need to satiate my feelings of inadequacy outweighed any chance for evolution to occur. My belief system was as follows:
I am embarrassed to admit that I spent not weeks, not months, but YEARS reading articles, pinning quotes, sharing links, following Instagram feeds, and reading books in an effort to crack the code of wellness as it applied to my life. I had what I have now heard referred to as “analysis paralysis.” I could tell you the latest research on paleo diets and their effect on reducing thyroid anitbodies, but do you think I actually applied any of this knowledge in practice? Absof*ckinglutely NOT… but my pinterest page, Chrome bookmarks, and followed accounts on Instagram would suggest otherwise.